i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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