I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
