I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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