The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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