wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
