I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
