i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
