I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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