she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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