I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
People in love make me want to vomit
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
