it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
