I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
