I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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