I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
