Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
