i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
