I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
