The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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