I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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