I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
