even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
How's work?
Spinning.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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