I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
