Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Randomize
