well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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