grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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