Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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