guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
