Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
