a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
