Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
