chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
