so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
