susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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