Having a random hookup so left but love u
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
