My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
They have beer where we have blood.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
