I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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