i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
