At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
