You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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