Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
