maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
