oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You are the jesus of drinking
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
