You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
