She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
we should paint friendship bongs
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