Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
she told me i tasted like america
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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