omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize
