You smell like stripper and shame
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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