nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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