I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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