butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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