Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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